There's someone at Microsoft with that title: Chief Of Licensing. Chief Of Licensing!!!
Chief of what? Chief of Licensing. What? Licensing! Huh? LICENSING!
O.K., how about finishing this one, how many chiefs does it take to write a bad license?
Let's imagine the conversation:
Customer: I want to use my super-powerful computer to help me be more efficient.
Microsoft: Great, first you need to speak with our chief of licensing.
Microsoft: He'll help make sure you understand the terms of our licenses so you don't run afoul.
Customer: What's afoul?
Customer: I can't run it?
Microsoft: It violates at least 235 of our patents.
Customer: What patents.
Microsoft: That's a secret.
Customer: But I can't run it.
Microsoft: Well you can, if you pay us.
Customer: Oh, it's Microsoft software?
Microsoft: Not exactly, but our chief of licensing can help you understand it.
Customer: Understand the secrets?
Microsoft: Not the secrets, never the secrets, just how much you have to pay to run our software or the open-source software.
Customer: But what am I paying for?
Microsoft: Oh, well, that, it's a secret.
Any company that needs a chief of licensing has overly complicated licensing terms. Ask your open-source vendors about their chief of licensing, they'll most likely reply, "Chief of what?"